Called By Default

This past week was quite an adventure. Bobby and I spent 6 days in Austin, Texas at a church planting conference. And boy, where do I begin?? First of all, leaving Annsley behind at my parents was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. So with those emotions already on the surface, we were about to face some other challenges upon our arrival in Texas...things that I will be downloading for quite a while (and as I have time to write it out).

I guess the thing that stands out in my mind the most was how much emphasis was placed on our marriage. Not just that a healthy marriage is important in ministry, but that it's absolutely necessary to be most effective. I saw in a different way just how much my heart matters, and what I bring to the table is vital. We had so much wise counsel from people who had never met me before this week, yet I felt like they knew exactly who I am...and who I had forgotten that I am.

I love Bobby so much, but since the beginning of our ministry life together, I have felt like I've been riding his coattails, never quite having what it takes to be his partner in this journey. Even though he's never deliberately made me feel that way, for years I have been exhausted trying to keep up. And by not keeping up (and eventually not wanting to), I had begun to feel like the less "spiritual" one. I learned from some incredible people this week that what I have to offer to Bobby, and therefore our ministry, is priceless, that what I had been believing about myself was a lie, and that it is, in fact, OUR ministry. I have been called by default :0)

There were many things that Bobby learned about the way he was looking at me and us. I think some things may have been a blow to his ego, but it was so very refreshing to have someone say to him what I feel like I've been screaming for years. Suddenly, there was a fresh perspective for him. He realized that he is not ready for this new adventure until we are BOTH ready, and we began to look at this church plant differently. More to come...