REST

Bobby and I are attending a conference these next few days in Orlando. It's a church planting conference, and there are about 3,000 people here from all over the country. It's kinda cool to imagine that many new churches all across the U.S., but at the same time, it's a little scary because the last thing this country needs is another church. Instead, we need people in love with God who are being the church in a way that others can't help but be drawn to Him. So I'm hoping that these are the ones filling our conference seats.

Because it's a church planting conference, I decided to sign up for the series of sessions geared toward church planting spouses. Upon entering my designated area today, I immediately began to make silent judgments. Upon the opening of the session, I thought "And this is why I hate women's events" and I prepared myself for the fluff.

However, God had something else in mind for me today. It appeared that by the end of the session, every word had been prepared for me. You see, the entire message was about REST. And if anything, my life lately has been nothing but UNrest. I'm still in the process of figuring out balance, and I've been spinning in circles trying to do it all because every thing in my life to me is as important as the next, so to put one aside for another seems impossible. Let's see, there's the baby, then there's the house, cleaning and laundry and fixing things and putting the toilet paper on the roll!, then there's work...and family...and trying to be a good friend...then there's, of course, the new church stuff, new people, launch team, core team...oh yeah, and then there's "quality time" with Bobby...and then I'm supposed to be in the mood for "lovin'." Then on top of all that, I'm supposed to take care of myself...exercise, eating well, making sure I'm drinking my 8 glasses of water a day! Then there are those things that I'd LIKE to do but are rarely squeezed in, like reading a book, working on my photo albums, or...I don't know...dreaming.

And in all of this, where does God fit in?? Lately I've actually gotten a little peeved at God because in all the hustle bustle, He still expects me to chip away some time for HIM. I know it's backward thinking, but that's how my unbalanced mind works sometimes.

But today I was gently reminded that all things are out of whack unless God is placed first. On the way to Orlando this morning I was telling Bobby that I feel like everyday I just go through the motions, that it's just the same things over and over. Today I was told that "unless the Lord builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain" (Psalm 127:1). The "house" I've been building is not the best that God has for me. I hang onto and "white-knuckle" so many things in my life because I just need to feel like I have some shred of control over something. What I realized today is that if there's something that God asks for and I tell Him 'NO' -- I've found my idol.

I don't know why I hold so tightly to things when God truly WANTS to carry my burdens and truly WANTS me to enjoy life. He never asks me to try to do everything, only to trust that He's got it covered. Relax. Take a breath. REST. And by the end of the session, I found that my preconceived judgments got washed away...because I had been crying through most of it.